What a day…what a few weeks, maybe months. Ever have those days when you can’t believe it is you who is allowing the words to come out of your mouth? Yeah, me too. I feel like I have been completely overwhelmed lately, stressed out and wanting to become a hermit to escape it all…but I can’t. So what, you may ask, do I do? Well, apparently I nag…yep, I have turned into a nag in the past few months!
Who am I? This is incredibly insane and ridiculously unlike me (or so I think and like to believe). I need an outlet so that my outlet is no longer Tim…while I feel like sometimes he takes things out on me, I sat back tonight, while sweating, overheated and miserable, realizing that while yes, we both take out stress on one another – I instigate much of it, I continue much of it and I start most of it. ALARMS ARE NOW GOING OFF IN MY BRAIN!! I am not this woman – I am not the woman that the man doesn’t want to be around, or talk to, or love. No…I’m the cool woman, the one that other guys say, “hey, I hope I can find one like that someday”. Wow…where did I go.
Well…now that I have seen fireworks tonight (both literally…thank you Sun Devil football…and figuratively), there is work to do. I have already previously decided to overhaul my diet and exercise because I am not happy with it…well, when I’m not happy with that, I am apparently miserable all around. I refuse to be a miserable woman and a woman that my husband just gets used to hearing nag and therefore no longer listens. I have to get this all out somewhere else…here? I don’t want to air out laundry (clean or dirty) with anyone, really…maybe I’ll take up knitting…or maybe more yoga, meditation? Going back to church will be a huge help for me – that spiritual recharge is sometimes exactly what is needed. Life is falling into place but inside of this fall are many of the most stressful situation ever encountered and I need to combat that stress and not beat my husband with it or shove it his way to deal with. It is me, I am strong, confident and able…I have God on my side, I have my loving husband who is putting up with my crazy and I have my pity party – who so very quickly needs to be uninvited to this party. I can do this. I will do this. I will remove my awful (yet clean) tasting foot out of my mouth and speak kind words, think kind thoughts and live a kind life.